Talking pollocks

Sainsburys supermarket is going to rename pollock. From now on it’s going to call this little white fish “colin”.

A pollock type of fish

I’m, er, gutted. Because just to complicate things, “colin” is also the French word for hake.

Why the name change by Sainsburys? Nothing to do with what the fish looks like, or what it tastes like, but what it sounds like.

Here are 15 essential facts about pollock and colin…

1. Pollock is also spelt pollack in many UK and US dictionaries

2. Sainsburys claims that shoppers are embarrassed about saying its name.

3. So the story is just perfect for all those Sex Pistols type puns in newspapers (“Nevermind the pollacks – just ask for colin” ,”Never mind the pollacks…here’s Colin” etc etc)

4. Ten Sainsburys stores will stock the new-look in limited edition packaging, designed by Red or Dead founder Wayne Hemingway

A Jackson type of Pollock

5. Hemingway told the Daily Telegraph: “Image really is everything; so to help Colin stand out on-shelf we’ve used bold, bright colours and a design that is cheekily inspired by another well-known pollack (artist Jackson Pollock)”

6. If a Pollock is a messy painter, then a Hake is a neat paintbrush, mostly for watercolours (see picture below)

7. Sainbury’s says sales of cod outstripped sales of pollack in March by 52,904 to 3,947. But haddock was even more popular than cod, with 98,722 units sold

8. Pollack tastes similar to cod and is more sustainable

9. Sainsbury’s – and its food ambassador Jamie Oliver – say “Colin and chips can save British cod”

10. When minced up, pollock is the primary component of fish fingers. Or should that be pollock fingers?

11. Colin fish fingers are much cheaper - 49p in Sainsburys compared with £1.79 for the top cod variety

A hake type of painting brush

12. There is a man called Colin Pollock on Facebook

13. In English, “Colin” in this fishy sense is pronounced like former US general Colin Powell. In other words, fishily

14. Also filed under “let’s rename an ugly fish” or “let’s rename an ugly fish name” is: rock salmon, aka dogfish

15. But loup de mer is the lovely French name for seabass (it always makes me think of seawolf, literally “wolf of the sea”). And if you’re looking for large prawns in the Languedoc, they’re more likely to be called gambas, probably from the Spanish